Experience:1100ug LSD (oral) - Time reversal, spiders, and the hospital

Description: Extremely bad trip with intense visuals, time distortion and ending with the police taking me to hospital. I don't remember large parts of the trip, so this account is really only a fraction of what I experienced.

Setting: at home with flatmates. I've done LSD a lot before this. Each tab was 220ug, I took 5 tabs so 1100ug in total. The dosage is accurate, they were from a very reputable darknet dealer in the UK and I've tried their tabs many times before.

0:00 (come-up) - I felt the come-up start after only 10 minutes (usually takes at least an hour for me with these tabs). In a little under 90 minutes I was in a full-blown psychosis.

0:30 (panic attack & start of bad trip) - The trip went bad very quickly. I was listening to Time by Pink Floyd and staring at this poster on my wall. I started believing that the song was directed at me and there was a secret message hidden in the poster. I repeated the same sentence over and over to my friends. When they left, I started having extreme anxiety and a panic attack. My vision distorted so the world felt like it was closing in on me.

1:00 (spiders) - I began experiencing tactile hallucinations of millions of small black spiders crawling under my skin and jumping on me. I felt like I was being engulfed in writhing masses of these spiders. I could feel the spider legs running all over me. I even had auditory hallucinations of a sickening churning sound that made the masses of spiders sound realistic. I could make out every feature on their bodies - abdomens, prickly legs, etc.

The worst part of this was that I got naked at one point, and for the rest of the trip, I hallucinated spiders crawling into every opening in my body, including foreskin, eyes, mouth, nose, etc. This all felt completely real to me. It felt like I was slowly being dragged into hell and I would remain in this spider-infested hellscape for eternity. The world became an evil shade of black, the best approximation I could give to describe it is the alternate dimension from stranger things, the upside down.

After this point I'm unable to remember timing accurately. I think most of my memories of the trip are suppressed as I feel like there's a lot more I don't remember.

Auditory hallucinations were consistent throughout. There was an internal distorted screaming noise in the back of my head for hours, I would describe it as most similar to the sound SCP-096 makes. I also heard the voices of people I've known in the past, usually talking to me or with other voices. These were accompanied by hallucinations where I could vividly picture the person and what they were doing in front of me, as if they were real. At this point, I could not tell the difference between what was real and what was fake at all.

I experienced ego replacement, where I became other people. I experienced life as my father for a short while, then as a friend of mine, and finally as a completely new person I have never met before but I knew was a version of me. I was phasing between locations from my memories, including a dock, my friend's house, my own home, and more. At one point, I felt as if I was myself but 8 years old, talking to my parents who were scolding me.

The delusions were also very intense. My perception of reality changed so drastically, I forgot who I was and what I was experiencing. Talking to people in my flat, I felt like we were in weird scenarios that were very detached from reality. For example, I was under the impression that my flatmates were other people and we were in another setting.

4:00 (time reversal) - I got caught in a time loop that lasted for what felt like hours. It involved me running out of my room, throwing my backpack against the wall, running down the hallway to my kitchen, throwing a glass into the floor and watching it shatter, and finally sitting down on a couch. Once this whole sequence was finished, the entire thing happened again but backwards. So I stood up from the couch, the glass un-shattered (all the shards reformed a glass as I was watching), I ran backwards all the way into my room. It was like I was rewinding a VHS tape of the world that I couldn’t control the outcome of but was experiencing in real time. Somehow, I was able to change the speed of this playback - so I could speed it up or slow it down at a whim. However all my actions during this time loop felt predetermined, as if I had no free will and I was bound to the events happening. During this time loop I injured myself on the broken glass, cutting my feet very deeply while running on it.

6:00 (police) - My flatmates called the police on me because I was having a total mental breakdown (don’t blame them, as by that point I was already naked and in full-blown psychosis). When the cops showed up, they had to call for backup because I was resisting them too much. In total, it took 8 officers / paramedics to tackle me, handcuff me, and drag me outside. They also put a bag over my head to try and calm me down. In my psychosis I thought the darkness inside the bag was an endless void with spiders everywhere, and with the full weight of the police officers pinning me down on the floor, it felt like I was trapped in this hell by an extreme external pressure.

18:00 (next morning) - I woke up in hospital with no clothes and no possessions. They had given me intravenous diazepam and anti-psychotics. I had deep cuts in my feet from stepping on glass, multiple cuts and abrasions that I assume are from the police tackling me and the glass on the floor. I had nerve damage (couldn’t feel my thumbs / lower hand) around my wrists from the handcuffs for over 4 months after the incident, probably from excessive struggling.

8 months (the present, at time of writing) - I've been getting pretty intense flashbacks whenever I smoke weed or use psychedelic substances. Lots of triggers can give me anxiety, most notably: spiders and insects, pink floyd's song 'Time', police officers, and more.

I get very strong deja vu every time I smoke weed and after 6 months I've started getting it when sober - although mild when sober, it's still ever-present. For example, watching TV or listening to friends talk, I get the sensation that I've "Heard this before" or "Seen this before". It's very confusing and although I know it's impossible for me to experience this, I can't stop fixating on it.

Submitted by Spiderman