Experience:3.5g Syrian rue + 10g Mimosa Hostilis
I'm writing this trip report to share my expierence with the powerful ayahuasca. I'm quite expierenced with psychedelics. Have taken 2C-[B/E], DO[B/M], 4-aco-[dmt/met/mipt], LSD, Meskalin, 25[B/I]-nBOME, MDMA, [3/4]-MMC, DMT, Ayahuasca. Nearly all my trips were without trip sitter or knowledge about my psychedelics use of people around me. My friends and surrounding people do not understand my inquisitively bout psychedelics. And exactly that lead to my first bad trip. Also my girldfriend knows that i'm trying some drugs, but she has more of a stigma about drugs in her head. She doesn't like me to do drugs. But somehow accepts my tripping.
This report does only contain the most prominent parts. There were more effects present but i forgot them...
I've already extracted harmala alkaloids from some syrian rue seeds. Mostly i take about 300-500mg of the goo to make sure the MAOI works. I dissolve the goo in ~100ml warm juice. In my expirience does this speed up the effect.
Then i prepared 10g of powdered mimosa hostillis root bark mixed with a banana, some honey and milk. Then after half an hour after MAOI ingestion i drank the smoothie. As always i was not able to drink all of it, but this time i got about 9g in my stomach i'd suggest.
As always my stomach was empty, i did not eat for some hours. To mitigate the purging i ate a slice of bread with honey. This way i could keep all the smoothie in my stomach.
The state of mind from previous trips - Is our world a simulation?
This plays a role in understanding my bad trip. Therefore i must write some words about it. In the near past i've read about a theory that our world could just be a simulation. It is suggested that members of an advanced “posthuman” civilization with vast computing power might choose to run simulations of their ancestors in the universe.
In my previous trips i've taken this though to a higher level. I've heard voices talking to my mind. They told me that we are not in a simulation for fun. The voices made me think that all souls on earth are kind of punished to stay on earth until their mind is healed and their bad behaviour is fixed. I had the feeling that we are all connected, a family. And other family members send us to earth with the good intention to get a better soul.
But i also realised that we humans should not know that we are living in a simulation. Therefore the creator of our simulated universe took precautions in our body/mind to prevent getting knowledge of this. In my point of view DMT does open a window for us to understand this. Normally DMT should not pass our stomach. But as complex as our body is, there is something like backdoor or exploit we humans have found. That is combining MAOIs with DMT. Maybe thats a loophole the evolution missed (did not forsee, evolution does not forsee anything rather than react to current problems).
Effects were felt quite fast. After about an hour my girlfriend came home and noticed that i had taken ayahuasca. She was not very happy with that, but it was kind of ok. That was not a problem for me because i knew that before and was comfortable with that.
But things got shitty. I had to go to the toilet but when i wanted to put my trousers back on i realized i was a little dizzy. At that point my view was partly disturbed. I did not notice hallucinations like patterns, but i could not really see that much. At the same time i was nearly unable to articulate full sentences.
Then my girlfriend opened the door to the toilet and saw me sitting on the ground trying to put my sweat pants back on. That must've been a weird picture. She instantly enraged and was short before calling ambulance or my mom. I could understand everything she said, but i was not able to tell her that everything is ok. I was in full consciousness. That was already a bad experience. But things got worst. We both sat down on the table and she told me that i had overdone it now and she is going to leave me. These word triggered a feeling for me that i would expect others to describe it as the fear of death. I had a feeling that the world will now collapse. It was not to describe with words.
What was on my mind at that time was a little more weird. I heard voices that told me that i had openend pandoras box and dismantled the simulated world. I heard voices from several people (i had a feeling that these voices are part of my family). They told me that they gave me enough signs to not evaluate the simulation theory via ayahuasca. They seemed to be frightened of me exposing/getting knowledge of the truth.
I think that these voices were simply my own thoughts of the past. They matched the theories i made up in mind. And somehow Aya made me think this is the reality. I may have been in ego death state so that i could not distinguish where the voices really came from. That could be the reason why i thought these voices were my family, there were simply myself. And i believed what they said because somehow everything makes sense under the influence of DMT.
This really powerful feeling lasted some time (dunno how long really) until i told my girlfriend to never do something like that again. I might have done anything to calm her down and stay with me. I gave her the rest of my MHRB and she poored it down the toilet. After that she could calm down and so could i too.
DMT is NOT a spirit molecule
IMHO DMT is not a spirit molecule. It is rather a functional molecule structure the evolution choose to trigger a (twonique)unique feeling in us. It has been schown that DMT is released when we die and when we get born. Very objetively DMT does several things to your mind:
- Trigger the fear of death (greatest fear)
- Trigger the will to survive (greatest bliss)
- Feeling of omniscient
Maybe nature/evolution used this molecule for two final situations in our lives. And maybe these two sitations have some things in common so that this molecule is shared by our body for these two events. If you think about it it may make sense. The feeling of omniscientness makes sense in both events. When you think everything makes sense and everything muste be as it is you won't turn nuts.
So when you are being born it may be a frightening expierence for that young soul. The DMT prevent getting nuts with feeling of great bliss and omniscientness.
And in case of the dead it does not make sense to get crazy or nuts because its over now. You don't have to care about. The feeling of fear of death is somehow part of the effect range.
The world is really a simulation
During my expierence i really took the possibility into account that the world is a simulation. All souls on earth must prove their integrity or must prove that they are able to live in the real world. For me it seemed that this world is a place where souls are being proved. Somehow there is parallel to the buddism or rejuvenation itself. But maybe i'm just thinking so because i've read about that in the past... It would match at least.
Within my last aya session i experienced the presence of a doorman who watched what we were doing. I had a feeling that there is someone who has decided that our souls have to prove ourselfes (maybe as a punishment for bad behaviour or something). That guy was also responsible for the barricades that our body and soul discourage from noticing the real truth (the real world out of the "simulation").
Submitted by - inquisitiver
- Spontaneous tactile sensations - "a distinct body high which felt like a warm soft bodily glow"
- Language suppression - "At the same time i was nearly unable to articulate full sentences."
- Delusion - "During my expierence i really took the possibility into account that the world is a simulation."
- Suggestibility enhancement - "For me it seemed that this world is a place where souls are being proved. Somehow there is parallel to the buddism or rejuvenation itself."
- Ego death - "I heard voices that told me that i had openend pandoras box and dismantled the simulated world."
- Time distortion - "This really powerful feeling lasted some time (dunno how long really) until i told my girlfriend to never do something like that again."