Experience:660ug LSD - Panic, Terror, Mass Hysteria... Freedom

@1320 3 x 220 µg LSD tabs taken[Assumed 100 µg at ingestion found out actual dose roughly 30 minutes after]

@1440 noticeable issues with maintain reality binding. Very pleasant body-load, visuals becoming somewhat more distinctive. I've taken a seat at the edge of our camps group so I can enjoy watching the interactions. It feels as though I am disconnect, like watching TV.

@1530 intrusive distortions in facial cues making it very difficult to read others. -at first seemed as though micro expressions where exaggerated greatly or that time was slowing for me on those features. -later through interaction it was quickly asserted that said expressions were false. And possibly misconstrued greatly based on my own personal insecurities or perceptions of a person

1. event: Dima was very simply brushing his teeth. But for some reason it was perceived as aggressive, angry and frustrated. It is unclear as to why that false perception intruded. +fear of Dmitry being mad in correlation to one or many of my actions or statements.

-also minor panic based, fear/emergency delusions manifested. I perceived everything in camp as though it were in response to an impending danger. i.g, perception of a group walking quickly as panicked mob moving from an unnamed offensive.

@1600 although I am uncertain as to the nature of this but it seemed as though I could hear everyone’s truest words. Notate increased repulsion if other individuals. -while in line the words I heard people saying could not have really been described as sentences. It was as though the thought most on their mind was regurgitated. This intensified to the point that it overwhelmed my senses -random delusions/hallucinations of the lines each having a color and their totems matches their colored rows. It was perceived that we were all about to force our way through like when a football team runs through the banner of the opposition. It reminded me of a charge like that. These were short lived as reality asserted fates errors against the delusions. After that i thought we were lifting Dima up in a chair as a “Prince if Diso”. Followed by some girl seemingly rising from the ground. The reality was the terrain changes made her perceived state every and increasingly abnormal in comparison to a flat terrain.

@1610 complete loss of ability to construct reality external of the trip. Then the self analytics started. From every gesture I did to my facial expressions. -it’s hard to truly express the gravity of everything that occurred this time arc. To start the moment we walked through the entrance the world we walked into was something almost cartoonishly luxuriated. The walk way appeared to be a bridge of lights leading to the utopian kingdom of diso. Lights, costumes, rides, vendor displays, and even people were perceived to be immensely more luxurious, clean, sexy, colorful and dramatic. This based on the retracing originating path to destination after conclusive time stamp. -the overall intensity of the environment became unmanageable almost instantaneously.

@1640 panic based hallucinations perceiving threats and eventual death begin to get intrusive. -the first instance of this was immediately after Dima went into the bathroom. I had a very intense vision of everything slowing down and breaking apart, sound stoped. Then as it began to resume speed I could hear Dima say ”Derek stay with me. Don’t die. Help is coming. it’s going to be okay” For a moment I believed my reality to be false and that I was dying outside of it.

1. event: the moment this vision ended it seemed in my mind, the vision I had was an impending future. I began to see what I believed to be paths closer to that vision in reality. Interactions with people, going around the left side of a group vs the right, little details in my mind we’re all mapped out in front of me leading to death. So I moved and evaded until I felt safe. Unfortunately i could no longer find Dima as I was lost.

-texting at this point was almost infuriating. Letters, colors, shaped all seemed to swap and overlap. -once lost I found a place to sit down and frantically lit a cigarette. I continually hallucinated emergency teams rushing towards me. The only thing that curbed this was looking at the cigarette I was smoking and think if I looked normal or not. I knew I did and it would briefly push them out.

@1700 Panic and mass hysteria had become the encompassing factor of this trip by this point. I began to constantly be at war with the delusion that something tragic or terrible had just occurred and people were running from it. Sometimes people were covered in blood or wounded. At one instance I even thought i heard a dj say, “I’m sorry Paradiso but I just have to do this” then boom a bomb. The only way to realign was to note that people were walking too and from the perceived threat. Logic pushed the hallucinations away for mere moments before ensuing again. When if ever I successfully pushed these delusions out I began to hallucinate my reality being pulled down. Light, landscape and people began to splice and warp until ever amount of existence was gone. As I watched it fade away I was terrified, then I let go and accepted whatever may come and my reality rushed back into my view. Directly after this first of many reality vortexes I saw what I had believed to be an act. It was four women, all of them pale with black hair. Each one with black metal bands lining their arms and torso. With the waving of their hands these metal rings began to bend seemingly in tune with the gestures. Some pulling from the body and forming elaborate geometrics that were indescribable. Only later when describing them did I realize they weren’t real. That instance is the only affirmationI have that my hallucinations had become seamless with reality. Resulting in my questioning of every experience I had gone through while alone. After this the reality vortexes grew more intense and now lead to a visualized death(Open eyed). I continued to accept every way and manner this occurred as it seemed to feel less uncomfortable. L, a member of our group has found me apparently standing and doing not much else. I walk with her and a few other friends to a grass hill near one of the stages. As we walk, reality splits into hundreds of vertical segments, and I just tell my self follow any section of L and you’ll be fine. So I did. The the slices began to twist, with great luck we had just began to sit as this happened. The death experiences have become so real that I can almost feel my life slip away at the end of each one. For some reason this compels me to dive deeper. I want to see what’s after. After I go full dark and the sound stops. It takes countless deaths but I finally do it. My vision goes white with subtle white-blue mandalas forming around a feeling. It can’t visually be describe with words. The feeling was freedom. And it made me understand I had never felt it before. Not truly ever in any human life will we feel it. I heard sweet and soothing voice tell me something that is only for me to have ever heard, never to be repeated or written. I feel whole and every part of this trip was glorious in its own right no matter how terrifying.

@1850 I have re-entered reality and still reside on the field. L said “welcome back, it’s weird being your trip sitter for a change”. She smiled and handed me water. Then a beer. Although the visuals are still extremely present, my mind high has ebbed. I can now hold normal conversation and be physically mobile.

@1920 only residual hallucinations remain. Holy shit.

Post game report: I know it sounds like a horrible dark trip but it was well worth it. You can message me with questions. I tried to get as much out as I could but there was just so much to process. A few notes: -Looking back at the experience, its almost as though my mind was prepping to fully fabricate reality. First with testing the distortion of micro expressions, then with the distortion of words, then with distortion of environment. It feels at though it was confirming its ability to be believable. That might be silly.

-This was the first time LSD has ever created a hallucination with in a reality reference that i was certain was real only to find it wasn't. Also the only full slingshot from reality on LSD. Nothing like breakthroughs on Ayahuasca or smoked DMT, but very special in its own right. The only breakthrough that even somewhat compares to the sensation was at 20mg of DOC(Although what was seen was wildly different).

Submitted by Xeiko