0xea
Joined 13 September 2024
A year of my work as a contributor and moderator have been anonymized for calling out the abuse of power and transphobia coming from 3 moderators.
Xea
Hyia!, Im Xea, auti transgirl, born early 2000s in Berlin.
Feel free to chat me up <3, just don't be a meanie.
Special Interests
- chemistry and pharmacology
- low level programming and reverse engineering
Mental Issues
- (hypo-)manic episodes
- autism
- severe sensory issues
- attention deficit disorder
- long term dissociation
- self-harm tendencies
Complications
- Anaphylaxis - Intravenous Contaminant
- Serotonin syndrome - Intravenous Orthophedrone and MDMA
- Stimulant psychosis - Intravenous Orthophedrone / Oral Amphetamine and Dextroamphetamine / Intravenous and Insufflated N-Ethyl-Nor-Pentedrone / Intravenous and Insufflated 4-Methylpentedrone
- Transient ischemic attack - Oral Caffeine / Intravenous Amphetamine / Intravenous Methylphenidate
Why am I not dead yet?
Do I want to die?, Do I want to life?
Experiences
- Experience:70mg Lisdexamfetamine (oral) - My first stimulant experience
- Experience:1800mg Caffeine - Bipolar disorder and a bottle of pills
- Experience:35mg Dextromethamphetamine + 305mg 3-Methylmethcathinone + 20mg 2C-B - destroying myself before rebuilding
- Experience:2955mg 2-Methylmethcathinone + 276mg Diacetylmorphine - Stimulant psychosis ego death nightmare
Substance Matrix
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Route of Administration Ranklist
- Intravenous
- Cephalic
- Median cubital
- Femoral
- Dorsal metacarpal
- Small saphenous
- Dorsal venous arch
- Great saphenous
- Inhaled
- Metered-dose Inhaler
- Volatile Fumes
- Intrarectal
- Injection
- Suppository
- Subcutanous
- Intramuscular
- Deltoid
- Vastus lateralis
- Vastus intermedius
- Transdermal
- Patch
- Gel
- Oral
- Capsule
- Solution
- Tablet
- Powder
- Vaporized
- Vaporizer
- Oil pipe
- Foily
- Combusted
- Intranasal
- Powder
- Spray
Substance Ranklist
adoration ❤ hatred
Hormone Medication
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Estradiol Undecylate ❤ | |
prodrug ester of life saving hormone; produces stable levels with no crashes when injected monthly |
| Estradiol Enantate | |
prodrug ester of life saving hormone; minor crashes when injected weekly; discomfort when injected every 4 days |
| Estradiol Cypionate | |
prodrug ester of life saving hormone; crashes when injected weekly |
| Estradiol Valerate | |
prodrug ester of life saving hormone; crashes when injected weekly |
| Estradiol ❤ | |
life saving hormone; caused figure changes, breast growth, body hair reduction, skin smoothing and minor emotional enhancements |
| Dutasteride ❤ | |
significantly reduced hairloss; no side effects; very long halflife |
| Cyproterone acetate | |
helpful when estradiol levels drop below monotherapy levels; no side effects noticed so far |
| Beclometasone dipropionate | |
might slightly have helped respiratory issues |
| Melatonin | |
barely effective sleeping aid; potencially improves quality of sleep |
| Finasteride | |
coincided significant suicidal thoughts; very short halflife; stopped treatment after a month |
Entactogens
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Methylenedioxymethamphetamine ❤ | |
my favorite psychoactive substance; helped fix several friendships; allowed me to reprocess some traumatic events; will turn anybody into a cuddle-machine; do not intravenously inject, will drain serotonin immediately, gave me serotonin syndrome |
| Cocaine | |
quite stimulating; quite euphoric; heavy cardiovascular side effects; very short duration; surprisingly entactogenic |
| 3,4-Methylenedioxy-alpha-Pyrrolidinoisohexanophenone | |
quite stimulating; quite euphoric; quite entactogenic; heavy cardiovascular side effects; moderate duration insufflated |
| Metaphedrone | |
lighly entactogenic; quite stimulating; clean but short-acting euphoria; intensely addictive(made me feel as if this feeling would be the purpose of the rest of my life); high dosing requirements; memory disruption; corrosive |
| Orthophedrone | |
lighly entactogenic; increadibly stimulating; extreamly short-acting euphoria; intensely addictive; high dosing requirements, although more potent than expected; memory disruption |
| Mephedrone | |
cat-piss odor; lighly entactogenic; quite stimulating; medium dosing requirements |
Stimulants
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Lisdexamphetamine ❤ | |
favorite psychoactive substance for productivity; prodrug of my favorite stimulant |
| Dextroamphetamine | |
quite stimulating; clean euphoria; minimal side effects |
| 3,4-Methylenedioxy-alpha-Pyrrolidinoisohexanophenone | |
quite stimulating; quite euphoric; quite entactogenic; heavy cardiovascular side effects; moderate duration insufflated |
| Orthophedrone | |
lighly entactogenic; increadibly stimulating; extreamly short-acting euphoria; intensely addictive; high dosing requirements, although more potent than expected; memory disruption |
| Metaphedrone | |
lighly entactogenic; quite stimulating; clean but short-acting euphoria; intensely addictive(made me feel as if this feeling would be the purpose of the rest of my life); high dosing requirements; memory disruption; corrosive |
| 4-Methylpentedrone | |
lighly entactogenic; intense short acting euphoria; quite potent; quite tweaky |
| Dextromethamphetamine | |
quite stimulating; intense but short euphoria; long halflife; strong xerostomia(dry mouth) |
| Amphetamine | |
somewhat stimulating; clean euphoria; heavy cardiovascular side effects; very euphoric and practical via intravenous injection |
| Cocaine | |
quite stimulating; quite euphoric; heavy cardiovascular side effects; very short duration; surprisingly entactogenic |
| N-Ethyl-Nor-Pentedrone | |
intense short acting euphoria; quite tweaky |
| Ethylphenidate | |
mild stimulation; passed out on it on both occasions |
| Mitragynine | |
quite relaxing yet helpful for working; reduces minor pain; very helpful when crashing from dopaminergic stimulants; encourages sexuality |
| Caffeine | |
light plesant stimulation; discomfort at higher doses; toxicity has nearly taken my life |
| 3-Methylrolicyclidine | |
relaxing yet mania inducing at 10mg |
| Salbutamol | |
respiratory enhancement; minimal to no stimulation; cardiovascular side effects |
| Modafinil | |
effects not notable |
| Pseudoephedrine | |
effective dosing not reached |
| Methylphenidate | |
mininmal euphoria and stimulation; interesting when intravenously injected; causes anxiety and strong physical side effects |
| Mephedrone | |
cat-piss odor; lighly entactogenic; quite stimulating; medium dosing requirements |
| N-Ethyl-Nor-Heptedrone | |
dull euphoria; extreme body heating |
| 4-Methylbuphedrone | |
barely active; more sedating than stimulating |
| 3-Fluoroethamphetamine | |
barely active even when intravenously administered |
| 4-Fluromethamphetamine | |
barely active even when intravenously administered; softer curve |
| 3-Fluromethcathinone | |
very short euphoria; heavy body heating; quite unpleasant |
| Bupropion | |
paradoxical pharmacology; caused intense distress |
| Nicotine | |
light stimulation; causes agitation and headaches |
Psychedelics
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Dimethyltryptamine ❤ | |
~15mg vaporized produced very light effects but made me leave with newfound meaning and motivation; ~20mg vaporized produced feelings of shooting through space while completely clear in my head, very clean beautiful visuals for 3 minutes; ~25mg vaporized produced feelings of being torn out of my body and lost in space for 3 minutes; ~30mg vaporized made my subconcious start talking "please help me, I want to leave this place(refering to my place in life)" |
| 4-Bromo-2,5-dimethoxyphenethylamine | |
caused a significant and a horrifying experience; reduces passing of time; overlaying yet intense visuals; interesting tactile sensations; "psychedelic phenethylamine go weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ^w^"; "if this is a mind manifesting drug, than my mind is both love and a nighmare swarm of angry spinning rainbows"; intense 2.5 hour experience when intravenously injected |
Opioids
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Mitragynine | |
quite relaxing yet helpful for working; reduces minor pain; very helpful when crashing from dopaminergic stimulants; encourages sexuality |
| 6-Monoacetylmorphine | |
obtained by letting Diacetylmorphine sit in a low pH solution for several weeks; quite potent; relaxing to the point of inducing sleep; warm; minor pain reduction; helps deal with siginificant emotional pain; weird dream like states which feel fully concious; encourages sexuality |
| Diacetylmorphine | |
prodrug to 6-Monoacetylmorphine; not very classy |
| Loperamide | |
nothing to note |
| Oxycodone | |
strong apathy and sadness; feelings of body melting; when injected minor euphoria followed by nausea and intense sweating and warmth with only minor pain suppression |
Sedatives
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Bromazepam | |
relaxing; not very sedating |
| Lorazepam | |
relaxing; not very sedating; strong memory formation supression |
| Alprazolam | |
helps in distress; effective sleeping aid; cancels out stimulants if needed; quite potent |
| Diazepam | |
helps in distress; effective sleeping aid; cancels out stimulants if needed |
| Temgicoluril | |
helps in distress |
| Pregabalin | |
reduces some baseline anxiety; doesn't prevent breakthrough sensory overload |
| Zolpidem | |
effective sleeping aid; strange thoughts and dreams |
Antipsychotics
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Quetiapine ❤ | |
somewhat distressing / anxiety inducing to use; seams to relieve psychosis at proper dose in the matter of 3-7 hours; quite tranquilizing; unsure about effects on allergy |
| Amisulpride | |
messed me up at low dosage; kept me safe at a full dosage; quite pleasant probably due to opioid / GHB effects |
| Promethazine | |
seamed too suggestive to treat acute distress; strongly delayed onset; potencially mild nausea reduction; unsure about effects on allergy |
| Aripiprazole | |
way too long half-life; anxiety and discomfort; increased heart rate; teeth grinding |
Antihistamine
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Cetirizine | |
seamed too improve allergy symptoms |
| Bilastine | |
seamed too improve allergy symptoms |
| Diphenhydramine | |
at 50mg pleasantly relaxing, reduced cognitive ability and agitation; seams too improve allergy symptoms |
| Mirtazapine | |
creates unique bodily feeling; seams to suppress histamine effects; tranquailized me for 2 days straight |
| Promethazine | |
seamed too suggestive to treat acute distress; strongly delayed onset; potencially mild nausea reduction; unsure about effects on allergy |
| Quetiapine | |
somewhat distressing to use; didn't seam to help that much directly but potencially over the hours after use; quite tranquilizing; unsure about effects on allergy |
Antidepressants
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Fluoxetine | |
immediate improvement; comfortable feeling so far |
| Sertraline | |
seams to improve well being after MDMA use; notable potenciation of lisdexamphetamine through CYP2D6 inhibition |
| Mirtazapine | |
creates unique bodily feeling; seams to suppress histamine effects; tranquailized me for 2 days straight |
Nootropics
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Omberacetam | |
seams mildly stimulating |
Amino acids
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Oxitriptan | |
seams to improve wellbeing after MDMA use |
| Theanine | |
light but pleasant effects |
| Acetylcysteine | |
the taste of rotten eggs ruined my dextromethamphetamine tea |
| Pyridoxine | |
uncertain activity |
| N-Acetyl-L-Tyrosine | |
uncertain activity; injected 500mg intravenous; corrosive |
Antiemetics
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Domperidone | |
potencially mild nausea reduction |
| Promethazine | |
seamed too suggestive to treat acute distress; strongly delayed onset; potencially mild nausea reduction; unsure about effects on allergy |
Antihypertensives
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Minoxidil | |
promotes hair regrowth; causes respiratory depression at 10-15mg oral administration |
NSAIDs
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Acetylsalicylic acid | |
reliefs minor headaches; causes useful blood thinning for stroke prevention |
| Ibuprofen | |
ineffective |
| Paracetamol | |
ineffective |
Cannabinoids
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Tetrahydrocannabinol | |
reduces cognitive functioning; slowed perception of time |
| Cannabidiol | |
causes mental dulling; CYP2D6 inhibition unconfirmed |
Dissociatives
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Ketamine | |
unnerving if injected rapidly; body distortion; perception in snap frames; amnesia; time distortion; followed by suicidal thoughts; interesting mind manifestation with positive reinforcement |
| Deschloroketamine | |
similar to ketamine but slighly more rough |
| 3-Methylrolicyclidine | |
relaxing yet mania inducing at 10mg |
| Dextromethorphan | |
effective dosing not reached; might have worsened previous psychosis |
Alcohols
| Compound | Structure | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Ethanol | |
reduces cognitive functioning; euphoric at nauseating doses; rather use this as a solvent |
| Isopropanol | |
accidental exposure; pretty euphoric and encouraging grandious thinking; causes headaches; ~24 hour duration; rather use this as a solvent |
| Phenol | |
potencial accidental exposure(blood in my urin); synthesized from salicylic acid for my suicide kit; likely very unpleasant(muscle spasms and cardiac arrest) |