Experience:750mg - Experiencing Void; Dissociation Of Reality And Self
The following report follows my personal experience with 750 milligrams of the dissociative drug "Dextromethorphan" through oral administration of Robitussin Dry Cough Forte.
Due to the intense nature of the experience, a large portion of specific details are hard to encompass or remember, I will try to describe the experience thoroughly and in detail, this report will hopefully help the reader reference for whatever curiosity or reason you entitle your action too.
The experience started off with me orally consuming 250 milliliters of cough syrup in a glass cup, in total 750 milligrams of Dextromethorphan over a short period of about 15 minutes.
Due to the lack of stomach content at the time, subjective effects were felt rather more quickly than I had expected them to take action, starting of with a stimulative like awareness of my surroundings, inanimate objects were perceived as an "alive" or significant quality of depth and meaningfulness. An example could be four tea candles that I had lit to attribute to the setting of the experience, they took on a serene nature, the stillness of the candles sent off a stimuli which caused emotions of tranquil solitude, slightly more intense vibe was struck from the environment that encompassed me.
As a short period passed, the come up was still furthering toward a "second plateau" experience. It became rougher to discern the effects that were present, so I decided to put the candles out and move to the bed, turned on my laptop to read a few trip reports of Dextromethorphan in the third and fourth plateau stages, what I was reading wasn't very promising to what I "thought" may happen.
The experience was becoming more than what it was before, the feeling of awareness was significantly heightened, I felt the mind and body dissociation in its early stages. I was becoming extremely anxious, seeing that it hasn't been half an hour since I started consuming the syrup, this ensured me that I was far from close to what I am about to experience soon.
I tried to relax, so I threw on a few tunes to try and calm my mind and attempted to sink in with the experience, this briefly assisted but eventually the music lost its soothing vibe, the experience was augmenting its power quickly and constantly.
Nausea insinuated negativity upon me, I lost my comfort and started feeling much regret about going through with this, I felt like a complete fool as to why I'd do this to myself. I couldn't concentrate on positive aspects of the experience, all I felt was a shame, fear, sickness, and dysphoria; I just wanted to sleep and end it, but the hysteria and dissociation made it hard to rest, I had only one choice: face what I had started.
Nausea turned to an ordeal pain; I felt isolated, so I decided to call my partner for some security. She answered, at this stage it was just possible to maintain normal conversation, I wanted to tell her what I was doing, hoping she may able to comfort me during the experience, but all that'd do is terrify her and cause more problems, so I decided to halt the conversation and tell her I was "going back to bed".
I couldn't take it anymore; I tried so hard to hold the liquid in as I felt the psyche slowly tear away from my body, followed by reality itself. I could feel the vomit coming up my throat, so I had to make the instant decision to get up and let it out beside the bed. The release prompt a feeling that I'd "purged" out the negative aspect of the trip, I can't explain how much better and comfortable I felt after it, it slightly turned the tables of the experience, but I still had to deal with being ripped from reality.
I stumbled with moderate difficulty to the other side of the bedroom and stripped myself down to bare bottom to change from my puke riddled clothing. Afterward, I proceeded to clean up the vomit on the floor with a towel. Easily enough it soaked up like a sponge, and I climbed back into bed, and this is where the experience turned into the most profound moment in my lifetime.
As I laid still among the dark, I sunk into what was happening to me and attempted to stop fighting the experience and let go of my conscious reactions to the trip and let the DXM take me to where ever it wanted to send me. I found this decision a lot better, I relaxed and morphed my physical self, or what was left of it, to the reality I was leaving behind; Reality became nothing more than my senses perceiving distorted stimulus of what it could identify.
I started talking to something, whether it was my individual self, subconsciousness or an internal or external entity, asking "where is here?", where is there?". I could still know what my address was, but it seemed irrelevant and tedious, my mind felt like it didn't exist there anymore; it existed here in the void, this realm of nothing yet everything. Time became exceedingly difficult to perceive, it went forwards and backward, fast and slow; I couldn't understand even the slightest and most simple concepts of time and metaphysics.
I closed my eyes, only to be met upon by streaks of lights moving in a slashing motion, and an entity that took on the form of a snowflake structured reptilian elf looking thing, meditating in the lotus position while it floated in the darkness of my eyelids and said "why do you do this", I couldn't find an answer to the question, and it quickly dissipated.
I was then in the event of perceiving walls and body parts dramatically changing size, one minute I'm in an infinite field of absolute, the next I was consumed by the room that sized down to the area of a cardboard box like I was going to be forever trapped in this box for eternity.
The remainder of the experience was difficult to remember, the only thing that my mind processed was perceptual stimulus, vision, and sound thought and consciousness was dulled or fictitious, to my memory I possibly fell asleep, only to repeatedly wake up to the dissociation again and again.
I awoke the next morning, still feeling slightly distant from reality, the rest was subjective side effects of depression, but had since dissipated.
The conclusion of the experience isn't necessarily positive; my venture into the void-like state of mind created by Dextromethorphan was akin to experiencing hell or possibly death, the experienced welcomed me but my connection of veneration with this world is too strong to have the feeling of losing it forever, or in another view of how much the experience of dissociative substances differs from the wonderful classic psychedelics, well it wasn't exactly pleasant in my personal experience, but to others it may be embraced and revered, but to others (In similarity to my account) it shows quality of the opposite.
NOTE: The experience profoundly differs from individual to individual, do not take my experience as to what you may experience with this substance, it may be pleasant and beneficial, or it can be terrifying and traumatizing, do plenty of research before consuming a substance for the first time!
Submitted by - Lee243
- Novelty enhancement - "Inanimate objects were perceived as an "alive" or significant quality of depth and meaningfulness."
- Consciousness disconnection - "I felt the mind and body dissociation in its early stages."
- Nausea - "Nausea insinuated negativity upon me"
- Tactile disconnection - "I felt the psyche slowly tear away from my body, followed by reality itself."
- Motor control loss - "I stumbled with moderate difficulty"
- Time distortion - "Time became tough to perceive, it went forwards and backward, fast and slow."
- Geometry - "I closed my eyes, only to be met upon by streaks of lights moving in a slashing motion."
- Autonomous entities - "An entity that took on the form of a snowflake structured reptilian elf looking thing, meditating in the lotus position while it floated in the darkness of my eyelids and said "why do you do this"
- Perspective distortions - " I was consumed by the room that sized down to the area of a cardboard box."